I read a statement recently that I believe is the key to all change...
"Bad habits are hard to break because the payoff happens before the pain. Good habits are hard to start because pain comes before the payoff."
We struggle to make substantive changes to our lives because it hurts. It requires us to do something different than what we are. And the truth is, many times those changes are not met with an immediate difference. It makes it hard to KEEP THE CHANGE that we want.
The thing that drives all of us is hope. Whether its in our personal life, spiritual life, our love life, professional , and etc...we are driven by hope. When we lose that hope, our drive to continue goes with it.
Your hope will dictate your habits and your habits will dictate and write the story of your life. As James Clear says in his book "Atomic Habits", Winners and losers generally have the same goals. The means that it is not goal that gets you across the finish line. It's knowing that our actions will have a reaction in our lives. Our habits can be both conscious actions and those if done enough, will run your life on autopilot.
Most of don't think about the 1,000 different things we do in a day, because we are on autopilot with the majority of them. Think about it...how much do you really think about getting dressed in the morning? You just do what you do. They call it a routine for a reason.
Some decisions are just baked in to who you are. Those responses are a result of the habits that have put into place. Your habits, both good and bad, will determine the direction of your life. So at the core of things, if you want to keep the change you're looking for, and change your life, you have to change your habits.
1 Peter 4:1-2 (ESV) 1Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, 2so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.
Peter said we are supposed to be weaning ourselves from the human passions that have directed us and begun to moving toward the will of God. To live for the will of God is about changing the autopilot of your life. You should default to Him, not the world.
Daniel 6 tells us the story of Daniel and the lions den. At some point, we have all heard this story. But the bigger story is not just the lions, but what led to Daniel being in that situation. The autopilot of his life was about being with God in relationship. It didn't matter what everyone else was doing, he was going to continue what was his habit.
Daniel was a man of prayer. It became a part of his systems of life. His prayer life drove every area of his life. It was lasted through the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar and even Darius. Each of them ended up recognizing the wisdom and the hand of God on Daniel's life. He had that hand of God and favor of God because of his daily routine...his habits.
Daniel 6:10 (ESV) When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.
The last few words of that verse tell your everything about his prayer life...:"`as he had done previously." It was not an out of norm for him to pray. He had done 3 times daily for awhile and it served him well...why change? He survives what we think to be unsurvivable because of his connection to God. He was connected because of his habits.
Our choices in life will dictate and create the course of our lives. Thats because our decisions will get us a result, and that result will not be contrary to the decisions you've made.
What has been in your life and what will be in your life are shaped by the habits of your life. They take some of the decision making out of your hands. However you respond repeatedly becomes the default of your life. You are programming your thoughts and actions to default to certain responses to every situation.
But even if you have defaulted to bad programming in your life, there is hope! You can change that aspect of your life. Your hope will not change it, nor will your intentions. What changes the programming of your life is your habits.
If you want who you are becoming, change your habits!
If you want to change where you are going in life, change your habits!
If you want to change your life, change your habits!
But understand this, real change is not about behavioral modifications in your life. Real change, the kind that lasts, is all about spiritual transformation.
Habits will work with the way that your brain works. It's like having a shortcut or bookmark to a webpage in your brain. Habits allow you to act without even thinking.
Pastor Craig Groeshel talks about habits being part of a loop. They start with a CUE. A cue is a trigger that alerts your brain to go into autopilot. That cue leads to a place of CRAVING. A craving is a physical, mental, or spiritual desire that you have to satisfy. That craving leads to your RESPONSE. A response is a behavior that you fall into routinely when the craving starts. That response gets you a REWARD.
You see the loop may happen once, but the reward is what keeps you coming back into the loop. The way it makes you feel is what drives the decisions that you make. If your brain senses pleasure, it will want you to repeat it again. The more you do something, the more you desire to do it again and again.
The key to reprogramming those habits is about understanding the triggers. If you know those, you can predict how you will respond.
PLACE AND TIME are powerful triggers!
The thing about these 2 triggers is that you can add to them and subtract from them. If a place causes you to default to a negative habit, you can choose not to go there. You can also make the decision to add places to trigger better responses.
Time is much the same. I have noticed in my own life, destructive habits can come in idle time. When you are bored or your mind is not engaged, it becomes truly a playground for the devil. Some habits can creep into a life that is not intentional with time.
Understand this, the smallest changes are usually the most effective and will last!
MOOD is another trigger!
You and I need to understand that your mood will lead you to destructive habits. Hunger, anger, loneliness and being tired can drive you into negative habits.
MOMENTS both positive and negative can trigger habitual responses!
PEOPLE can be a trigger for habits!
I want to take a moment to talk about this area. Mainly because all of were created to be relational. It doesn't matter if you call yourself an introvert or not, God created you to be in relationship and fellowship with others. But not all relationships bring honor to God or take you to the goals He has for your life.
Look at what the bible says about some companionship...
Proverbs 13:20 (ESV) Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV) Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
If you allow the wrong people to have access to speak into your life, you could be allowing a destruction to come to you. My dad used to tell me repeatedly as a teenager, if you allow yourself to be in compromising situations, you will eventually compromise. He was talking about time and place, mood and moments, but also the people that I would hang around.
There are thousands of self help books that will try to teach you to change the habits in your life, but you and I need to know, that without the God component, nothing lasting will happen. And even this blog post, could be perceived as a great motivational speech...I hope great! haha I'm kidding!!!
When we have a real spiritual change in our lives is when we can break free! Just as Paul said in Romans 7, you can try and try and still find yourself held in bondage of the past and as a slave to your habits.
GRACE is the change component!
Colossians 3:1-10 (ESV) 1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
We have to put to death those things that have held us back. We have to let go of the sins that have entangled our lives and quit justifying bad programming. We have the choice to continue in what we do or not. If you want to see real change in your life, you have to give those things up to Him.
You cannot defeat what you have not defined!
1 Corinthians 6:18(ESV) Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
2 Timothy 2:22 (ESV) So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
If you are going to break loose of the things that have held you back, you have to break loose from the hold that they have on you! That means remove the triggers from your life that cause the wrong reactions. But understand, you won't change everything at once. You need to tackle them slowly and add things in to replace them. As you stack these habits, you will look back at a changed life.
Your outcomes are just a lagging measure of the habits that you allow in your life. You want to know where you will end up in life? Identify where your habits are leading you!
You have the choice, pain today and reward tomorrow, or reward today and pain tomorrow. The choice is yours.
PJ