Over the past few weeks, our church has been in a series dealing with Anxiety and Depression. During this series, we have looked at what we need to know and the things that we need to start doing to win this battle that we all go through.
The next part of this process is understanding what we need to stop doing.
Now it needs to be said, and is worth repeating, that not all anxiety is something that you can defeat simply through prayer and praise. There are times that we need to bring on skilled physicians and counselors to help us confront some of these things. There is no shame in reaching out for help when we need it. Some of these issues can be physiological and need to be addressed as such. I am not discounted the healing power of God, but I do acknowledge that God can use those in the medical field to help us.
With that being said, its also important to understand that at times, we can cause our anxiety to ramp up through the things that we do and hold on to. It's in those moments that we need the "God of Hope" to help us through.
Romans 15:13 (ESV) May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
This God of Hope that we have access to, has the ability to bring joy and peace to our lives.
When we are mired in our anxiety, it is hard to see God. It's like a fog. But our God never changes, just our view of Him changes.
Years ago, I was on a flight that was from St. Louis, Missouri to Knoxville, Tennessee. It was not a good day to fly and as matter of fact, the weather was pretty bad. As we took off, the cloud cover was so bad, that you could barely see the end of the wings. I was so anxious because it seemed like how could they fly in such a bad condition. We took off and for the first few minutes, it was bumpy and cloudy. Then all of the sudden, we broke through the clouds and the skies were blue and the sun was shining.
It reminds me that at times, our anxiety can cloud the fact that God has never changed. But to see that, we have to remove the things that are standing between us and him. We need to stop some things to see the God of Hope!
The first thing we need to do is to STOP PRETENDING WE'RE OK!
We can be master deceivers at times. Meaning that we can act like everything is great, while at the same time, we can be dying on the inside! Pretending can be a lifestyle that we live. It's an act of lying to others, but also the more damaging thing is that we lie to ourselves. We put on a mask in front of others to protect us from what they may think.
So we pretend like we're ok when we're not. We pretend like we've dealt with the past, when we really haven't. We pretend like we are strong enough to get through tough times on our own, when we aren't. We pretend we don't need God's or anyone else's help, but we were not created to do life alone. We pretend like nothing needs to change, when in fact, everything needs to.
We hold on to a make believe life and allow it to dictate where we are going more than the plans and promises of God.
For you to move the obstacles between you and God, you're going to have to let go of some of these things that are causing your anxiety to ramp up. It's true that there are situations that are out of your control but that doesn't mean that it's all out of your control. You may have to recognize that your pretending is allowing the clouds to get to get thicker.
The second thing you will need to stop is STOP HOLDING ON TO UNFORGIVENESS!
If I am honest, I struggle with this one. I am a guy that believes that justice should prevail. I see the world at times as very black and white. And because of that, I tend to hold on to unforgiveness. I even try to justify my thoughts and even my actions through scripture.
Unforgiveness was addressed in the bible. In Matthew 18:23-35, we find the parable of the unforgiving servant. A servant owed the master but when it came time to pay he couldn't. So the master was going to throw him into prison until he could pay it back. (side note: I think it's funny that you're supposed to pay back a debt while in prison, but let me get back to the thought here)
The servant fell to his knees and begged for mercy and forgiveness. The master being moved, changed his mind and forgave all the debt. He didn't have to. He was within his legal rights to do what he intended.
The forgiven servant then went to a fellow servant and demanded much less be given back to him. The other servant had no ability to pay, and did the same thing. He fell to his knees and begged for mercy. But instead of following the leading of the master, the forgiven servant refused to forgive another.
The news got back to the Master, and he ended up following through with throwing the forgiven servant into prison. Now I know this is a quick synopsis of this scripture,and I encourage you to pull our your phone or bible and read it for yourself. But the power of forgiveness in our lives, sets us free from bondage. The inability to let go of the grudge he had with another cost him his own freedom.
Pain and hurt has a way of holding us in bondage. But when God forgives us of our sins, He turns us loose from the sin that hurt him. He expects us to live with the same forgiveness for others that have hurt us. But when we don't, we allow that bondage to creep back into our lives.
Hurt and pain that leads to unforgiveness is powerful. But the interesting thing is only hurts you when you hold on to it. Most of the time, the person you have the problem with, never feels anything. Unforgiveness begins to fuel the fire of anxiety in your life. It stokes the fire to be stronger and affects even how you live life.
I can't count the times that I have had imaginary talks with people. Things I would say or do if confronted with a person who hurt me or my family. I have to pray that God helps me daily at times. I let go, but have the tendency to pick it back up. It's a daily process to defeat unforgiveness. That why the bible talks about forgiveness as a one-time process, but a continual thing.
If you are going to find peace through forgiveness, you going to have to accept that it happened. If you want to forgive, you have to feel it. You need to learn to pray for those people that hurt you, and not just for justice to be done. (Matthew 5:44) You are going to have to let it go (Romans 12:17-19). That means that you understand that God is the judge not us. You have to make a conscious decision to forgive! And lastly, if possible, work to reconcile.
But understand this...forgiveness does not always mean restored fellowship. There are times that you won't restore fellowship with people that you have forgiven. There has to be repentance for restoration to occur.
The third thing that we need to stop is to STOP PERFORMING FOR THE CRITICS!
There are times that we are moved into action, not because we think it is right thing to do but because we are afraid of what others will think if we don't. This is performance.
The only way we stop performing is when we understand the difference between performance and perfection. Critics will always demand performance. That's because they equate your worthiness in position or in life based on how well you perform to their standards. But the standards of others is not what should motivate us. We should live for the standards of God.
God is in the business of perfecting us. We won't perfect before we stand before Him, but every day is a process of making us better. He won't stop working in your life.
Hebrews 10:14 (ESV) For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
The words "are being sanctified" means that it is still happening. He is working on yours and my life still. We are forgiven. We are set free at the moment of salvation. But He still working on our lives to measure to His standard.
You're going to make mistakes. You're not perfect and neither am I. But this process lets us know that we are not working for the approval of the critics around us. We are living for the audience of One. And although He loves us and wants the best for us, it doesn't mean He has lesser standards for us. They are high! But He is cheering you on to that standard!
The last thing we need to stop is to STOP COMPARING OURSELVES!
It has been said that COMPARISON is the thief of joy! That is true. You can be content with something that you have until you realize someone has it better than you. You start craving what they have more than being thankful for what you have.
The first church I pastored was a small one. It had been a down state for years before we arrived. The previous pastor had done a great job of cleaning it up and getting the dysfunction fixed, but growth had not followed. When we were asked to consider pastoring this small reboot, I was not keen to it. I saw it as a dead end.
During our time there, we were fortunate to be able to connect with a large church in Nashville and the pastor really took time to mentor me. I would sit in on their staff meetings and learn from this church of thousands, all while I was pastor a church of 50. I would leave Sundays excited about the guest we had in church, only to sit through their staff meeting on Sunday and realize Sunday School classes that had 400 in attendance.
Talk about feeling like a failure. Comparison was robbing me of my joy. I would look around at other pastors that were "successful" and think about how they were no better qualified, skilled, talented and etc than I was. "Why were they having success? Why has God exiled me to Portland, TN?" That was my thoughts and my prayer life.
One day while praying, I felt like really challenged me on that. He had selected us for this hard task of rebuilding this church. He had placed us there. We were the people He wanted for this task. It was only then that I could see this position not as punishment, but as validation.
Comparing what you are or have will steal your joy. You have to see your life as God-ordained. That doesn't mean we can't get outside of His will. But when you compare what you have with someone else, that's not God.
Proverbs 14:30 (ESV) A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Envy is what rots your life from the inside out. It's why it's an effective weapon of the enemy against you. The word tells us to stand still while the enemy attacks, but envy and jealousy cause us to run towards what we are not called to.
So today, what do you need to STOP that is causing your anxiety to skyrocket? Make the effort today to make a change so you can see Him clearer. Remember He is faithful, but it's hard to see His faithfulness when the clouds are in the way.
Jason...